ok so i'm normal and really normal so here is me writing about the similarities and narrative parrallels between dhurke sahdmadhi (me) and simeon saint. also aai2 spoilers and soj spoilers duh

ok so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh where do i begin? so we were both taken advantage of by a higher authority. the entire fucking government was against us. but the difference between me and simeon is that i trusted in people. not only this, but i had people with me, always. i could never be alone in the way simeon was: i had two children to fucking look after. datz are'bal was also there for me. i was never alone, i always had people, but what makes me believe that simeon shut out the entire world was when he regained the memories of bronco trapping him in the car. the only person who helped him, the only person who he trusted: bodhidharma kanis, an assassin who was in jail and impossible to rendezvous with. and even still, in the end he was a pawn to be tricked, with the fake chess games.

and then there comes me. once again, i was constantly surrounded by people, but above even that, i held the steadfast belief in the inherent goodness of humanity. was i rewarded for this belief? well, yes. i would like to contrast the reaction of simeon to finding out bronco trapped him in the car, and me finding out that amara believed that i killed her (and even after i died, she began to believe once more.), i had more anchors than just her. when she told me, i did not react with the typical anger or rage, but with confusion. "then why did you run away with me?" i asked. meanwhile with simeon, he had nobody other than kanis (who is impossible to meet or talk to) and bronco, and finding out this erroded all previous trust he had in humanity.

the narrative of both games definitely treats us extremely differently as well. simeon is framed as a tragic villain, while i am a tragic hero. why? is it just because i'm the main character's dad? well, i think it kind of runs deeper than that, and it has to do with our attitudes towards harming others and murder. simeon held little to no remorse for the murders he caused, after all, why should he? he wasn't the guy who actually murdered bronco, who actually murdered rosie. the only time he actually dirtied his own hands was in self-defense after a president tried to shoot him, he is 100% justified there. for him, the ends justified the means (OMG ARISTOTLE MEANS REFERNEDCE !:!>!>!>?!!), and since his opponents refused to abide by laws, why should he? i don't think the game is trying to say "oh yeah you should 100% respect the law" considering in i1-5 you literally have to use illegal evidence to take down quercus alba. instead, i think what to take away from the games is that if you are going to break the law, you should think about if it harms somebody. like, in i1-5, using the illegal evidence wasn't really violating anybody's privacy or anything, the reason it was illegal is because it was stolen by dt. badd. however... that doesn't harm anybody. so the game supports this instance. meanwhile with simeon, he literally caused the deaths of 2 innocent people, which i would say is a pretty harmful thing to do ngl. as for me... i think i might've killed in self-defense? i was definitely extremely restrained in using harm or murder as a method in pretty much all situations (see my death cutscene)

i also think another major factor is age: simeon got trapped in the car and was abandoned by his father when he was around 6, he witnessed a murder and became the new police's no.1 person of interest when he was about 10... this is shit children are not equipped to deal with. meanwhile, my life began to go to shit when i was 23, i already had a son and was married and was an accomplished lawyer... i had a life that got ruined. simeon's life was never there to begin with. and even as my anchors began to fall (i was forced to abandon apollo, amara and rayfa were captured by the state, nahyuta was blackmailed into becoming the queen's servant), there was one man. fucking datz are'bal. he is a fucking legend. we met when we were 8 and even still, 37 years later, we remained. i guess going into hiding and raising your children together does that. either way, he was an invariant; a constant in the world's most nightmarish function imaginable. without him, i likely would've faltered in my beliefs. when i say i love him for being silly, while that is correct, bitch was the cornerstone of my mental stability. he can be serious. he can cry. he is an adult who is the same age as me. yes he is the guy who smiles and does the silly thumbs up and plays the most ridiculous drinking games... he is also the person who helped me grieve, who comforted me during my most difficult moments, and i think very little of the fandom understands this. we only really see this when after the trial he realizes that i've been dead for the past week, but it's definitely there for the keen-eyed viewer. and BOY did he have to use it when he had to deal with my trainwreck of a life. to think.... he believed me when not even my wife did... AUHYFHJSFHG sorry. like i don't judge her (she always was very gullible, and she knew this too) but i just cannot believe that THIS FUCKING AIUSHFDDGAFOIFJ sorry i will save datzposting for another time. anyways he is what prevented me from putting on the clown makeup and joining the berry big circus.