04/03/25

thinking about stuff......... ok so basically here's a story i want to share. so firstly i always wear jackets everywhere i go, no matter if it's indoors or if it's like 20 degrees celcius outside i always have a jacket on (me when i am dhurke) anyways one time i was in fuckfdoijsing class and for some reason some teachers get really fucking mad at you if you wear a jacket inside because it's like rude or whatever??? anyways cue one time i am in class and there was a new teacher in the school like a temporary hire for substituting for teachers who are absent. and then. he asks people to take off their jackets. and what i usually do is i don't and then if they bring attention to me specifically i will because it's just not worth fighting that hard if they really want me to take my jacket off. but. this bitch goes up to me and instead of just saying "can you take your jacket off?" he asks "are you a rebel?" cue me feeling weirdly fucking validated for some reason (did not know that i was dhurke back then, this was 2 years ago) and like feeling really weird. because like. i break rules all the time in school. yet almost every teacher thinks i am goody-two-shoes since i score well in exams and am good at hiding my rule-breaking. so it felt... weird because he almost saw through me? then i began to infodump to him about linguistics and he was like "oh ok he's cool" >:3 anyways uh. FUCKING GOING INSANE OVER THIS RN. IHSDBUDAO RAHHHHHHHHHHH I AM DHURKE SAHDMADHI FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS BITCH IS ME!!!!!!!!!

holy shit i miss nahyuta and apollo and datz and rayfa and everybody else.............

06/03/25

i am currently like waiting for the school bus to come but.... there is this one teacher who always makes me take off my jacket in class and this time he didn't do it dpfoijspind i am feeling great :3. anyways i have to leave in like 6 minutes so i mini-ramble on bliz and dhurke below

6-5 spoilers + gdh spoiler stuff (click to reveal)
so basically... ok so let's start with the beginning. they both have eyepatches and long black hair. they both went to a country in north america where they are not from. they both used to live in the city but went to live in the countryside. they both evade taxes and don't use electronic banking (this isn't canon for dhurke but like... come on). their lives were both destroyed due to a woman they got involved with romantically. they both died and came back (for dhurke it was via spirit channeling, for bliz it isn't expounded upon). they both have a serious-ish mask they wear but when you actually get to know them both they're both complete dorks. they both also live double lives in this way. dhurke has his life as a royal, as a father and as a husband, while he also has his life as the leader of the defiant dragons and having datz as his right-hand man. meanwhile, bliz has his life in the 19th century with ad honorem, while also having his current life with coni and cata and wicz and the rest of the people she is vaguely friendly with. and it's fucking ironic that i was able to make bliz and project onto them before even knowing i was dhurke. like the only oc's where i have projected onto are bliz and crazy bolt. anyways uhhhhh i am done :3

ouhgugufhguhguguhguhgughugh i am feeling things

i know a lot of people sometimes hate being kin and while i feel that i think it's fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! like. genuinely this bitch is not only so me but also i am able to fucking feel awesome just by looking at him. this bitch is me. i am hot. i can do shit. i am fucking awesome. but also. i feel this man. it feels so fucking liberating to finally have somebody who not only represents you, but embodies you on the spiritual level. this man is me. i was this fucking man.

ok so memory rant about language shit since. linguistics

ok i'm done now but can i talk about how much i love the sprites

ok so like i know i already had this 2 days ago but SERIOUSLY LOOK AT IT. i love the way i look here. and like. it hearkens back to what i was saying above where people often say that being fictionkin is terrible and miserable and it is sad sometimes but also it's fucking awesome sometimes!!!! like all i need to do is look at this .webp file and i will experience an indescribable sense of joy and pride.

the same applies to this image. ik this has been about me being dhurke but i am also sans and i fucking love mein bruder like. OSDNHFODSBF. when i see this image i long for him back in my life but i also feel the need to "let it go and move on," as it were.

i think this is actually something that separates me from a lot of the fictionkin community sometimes, i do have a tendency to live in the present moment and to not worry very much about the past or future, like obviously i miss my family and my children and amara and datz and shiver and frye and everybody but. i also have new friends. i have a new found family in this world that is loving and kind and is amazing to me. and while i do reminisce quite often about what could have been.... i am over a lot of it now. i am in a life that kinda sucks but also i can survive.

07/03/25

i have updated this page to now have the khura'inese bazaar as the background instead of just a solid colour :3 (i do fear that as this page keeps getting longer the background will stretch to the point where it just looks awful and i will have to ????????? make a new page i guess??? and i can find a new bg :3)

anyways!!!!!!!! i had to get some images of khura'in for this change and oh my god apodsjihaweijwqrbwqoijedbshdiaodij it's so fucking much. it's so much. KHURA'IN YOU AREN'T FUCKING REAL WHY DO I WANT TO VISIT YOU


this one in particular.... the mountains on the outskirts make me feel so UFDHGIUHDSF i remember!!!!!!!! i need to visit them!!!!!!!!!! i need to go back to that shack in the mountains where i was but no now i'm stuck on the opposite side of the world 0ousfniurgf

something i do in real life is that whenever somebody is trying to piss me off i kind of just stare at them and say nothing so that they can just leave me alone. and like. it works???????? i don't get it tbh but if it works it works. anyways i like to glare not as intensely as dhurke does but i definitely do glare more than usual. ahghahghHFDGSDFIHF i am dhurke sahdmadhi in real life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10/03/05

ok so i think what i will do to solve the "oh yeah this page is going to get too long and the background image is going to be too distorted" is that i will make a new webpage every week :3

so ANYWAYS DHURKE FUCKING SAHDMADHI. FUCK YOU FOR EXISTING WHY THE FUCK AM I YOU I FUCKING AIUSBYOVTAOD anyways welcome back to null is normal part 67. last time null okay i'm done with this bit for now.

ok changing subject i think i should have an actual kinlist on this page so here goes ig

and that's all :D

except

kinsiders....

finally.... kinbait!!! characters who are like me in like so many fucking ways they're inumerable except they're not me :3 and i just go WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU ME WHY AM I SANS INSTEAD OF YOU THIS MAKES NO SENSE

i have an idea actually for next week's webpage i should use a different bg from khura'in each week and maybe even change it up like i could have inkopolis square or splatsville or whatever.

anyways. i have plans for more yap but it is 11pm so i will work on setting up the next webpage for next week (tomorrow :3)

also i might translate this into spanish. maybe. who knows.

anyways don't forget to slay :3 i will set it up now and link to it.

link is here!!!!!